New year, new me. We’ve all been through the struggle of starting a new year and coming up with a bunch of resolutions that you won’t follow through with. I usually have the same ones every year: go to the gym more, eat healthier and try to be an overall better person but this year I decided to go about this a little bit differently.
In the last couple of months, I’ve really taken the time to reassess myself and my vision on life. I’m someone who puts a lot of importance in the way people think of me and I tend to get very anxious about out-of-character reactions. I’m an over-analyser, an over-thinker and the more I think about it, the more I realize how much it’s been affecting my quality of life.
As a resolution for the new year, I’ve decided to make a conscious decision to care less about the way other people see me and live more for myself. It’s not an easy change to make, in fact it is probably one of the hardest things I’ve had to work on in a long time. To do so, I’ve come up with a couple of ideas and steps to guide me through this journey of self-care throughout the year. I’m hopeful that this might help other people in their own pilgrimage towards a more balanced and positive life.
Stop analyzing every single detail.
Overthinking the dot at the end of a sentence or the one-worded answers to a question is something I do daily. I have a tendency to let things out of my control affect my mood and changing that is the first step to having a better quality of life. I’m making it a point this year to stop reading texts over in a search for something that may not even mean anything or hoping to understand someone’s reaction by the way their sentences are formulated. I’m choosing, if necessary, to delete conversations and shut off my phone when I feel myself getting anxious, to prone other things like going on a walk or taking a bath.
Let go of toxic people.
It’s hard. Cutting out people from your life is never an easy thing to do and for a long time, I felt some kind of obligation to keep some kind of contact with those unhealthy relationships. Whether it was due to how many years we’d been friends or because I was afraid of the backlash that would occur, I maintained these toxic connections regardless of how it made me feel. I let myself get dragged, carried a lot of unnecessary weight on my shoulders until I decided it was enough. I should not be a second thought to someone or the sole participant in a relation. Relationships require the active participation of both partakers and you should not be afraid to remove yourself from anything one-sided or that leaves you wanting more.
Within a certain respect for others, I think it’s important to be selfish at times and put yourself first. I’m someone who cares deeply about the people near me and I would often find myself putting my personal interests aside to please others. I’ve passed up on many opportunities or events by fear of upsetting my close ones or being judged by them. As the year goes by, I want to start making more decisions for myself and be unafraid of standing up for what I like and what I believe in.
I’ve realized that along the years, I’ve worked hard on surrounding myself with great people and I really believe that I’m in a good place with the right people to grow into the best version of myself. It took many failed relationships and friendships coming to term for me to get here but I finally feel like I can now work towards seeing life in a more positive light.
So for 2018, I want to live louder and start taking more risks when it comes to both my professional and personal life. I’d love to hear from you and how you’ll be bettering yourself this year.